


cookies and toolboxes

by peaches_n_roses



Category: Dark (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, First Hug, First Kiss, Self-Harm, but it is quite fluffy in the end, but it's not a christmas story I swear, it is cheesy, it's them falling for each other, this takes place shortly after christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:07:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27121558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaches_n_roses/pseuds/peaches_n_roses
Summary: As he hands the small cookie tin and the attached card to her, he catches sight of her bloodshot eyes she’s trying to hide behind her voluminous hair. “Are you alright?” He curses himself for asking such a stupid question. Of course nothing is alright.
Relationships: Aleksander Tiedemann | Boris Niewald/Regina Tiedemann
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	cookies and toolboxes

**Author's Note:**

> If anything self-harm related triggers you, please don't read this. Take care of yourself.

**December 27th 1986**

The doorbell rings.

_Oh my god, not now_ , Regina thinks. She quickly wipes away most of the blood and pulls her sleeve over her underarm.

She opens the front door. A lined light blue denim jacket and eyes just as blue. She didn’t expect Aleksander to stand outside her house. Although she has to admit that she has never has expected him, he always appears out of the middle of nowhere.

“I just came by to belatedly wish you a merry Christmas. I tried to bake cookies, but I failed, so I got you these from the bakery.” Regina has to chuckle, which brings her tears out again, just like every time she’s sad and someone is unexpectedly nice to her. It only makes it worse.

As he hands the small cookie tin and the attached card to her, he catches sight of her bloodshot eyes she’s trying to hide behind her voluminous hair. “Are you alright?” He curses himself for asking such a stupid question. Of course nothing is alright. Her lip starts trembling and a tear rolls down her left cheek, but still she nods.

“Let me come in and tell me what happened.” “Nothing happened. I’m alright, I promise,” she fakes a smile. He has worked during the holidays, this is his first day off ever and she doesn’t want to annoy him with her problems now. “You’re not,” he says with a serious expression, trying to make his way inside. “Aleksander, stop. It’s really not that bad.” “Regina, stop lying to yourself, you’re not alright. I can see the blood.”

Blood. On her underarm. Quite a lot of it. _A quite unusual body part to injure oneself at by accident. Oh no… Is it what I think it is? She’s self-harming. That explains a lot._ He curses himself again, this time for not realising that within one month of knowing her.

He leads her to her room and tells her to sit down by her vanity and promises “I’ll be back.” She feels guilty. _Now he has to deal with my problems._ She doesn’t even have words to explain anything, but she feels like she has disappointed him.

Aleksander heads for the bathroom cabinets where Regina dropped off the antiseptic agent and the bandages after she fixed his wound a month ago. _What am I even doing here? It’s two days after Christmas and I am browsing my boss’ bathroom for a first aid kit_ , he thinks. _I do spend too much time in my boss’ house. But it’s not my fault that that boss is a terribly bad mother to the girl I have a crush on._ Did he just admit to himself that he does have a crush on her? He must have, otherwise his heart wouldn’t be aching so bad right now after seeing her like this. He rushes back to her room immediately after he has finally found the first aid kit.

“I know that you know, but it may hurt a bit. Tell me if you can’t take it anymore, okay?” he explains as he kneels in front of her chair and pulls up her sleeve to clean her cuts. There are even more scars underneath them. He has to look into her eyes one more time before he starts cleaning them, and again he curses himself for not knowing what to say right now.

The worried look in his eyes makes her sob before the antiseptic agent even touches her. They remain silent for the whole process of cleaning and bandaging her injuries. After he’s done he carefully pulls her sleeve over the bandages and pulls his hand away by gently stroking over hers.

“Let’s go to the kitchen. You should drink something.” Although she doesn’t feel comfortable with him caring for her so much, she has to agree.

“Why are you doing this?” she whispers with a tearful voice after they sat down on the couch in the living room, both of them having a cup of boiling tea in front of them. _Oh dear, if you only knew how many times I’ve internally been asking you the same question._ “Because I am your friend, Regina.” It takes some time until she realises what he has just said. “It’s just so… hard to believe that. I’m sorry.” “I know that struggle. There is no need to apologise.”

“The last three days have been terrible”, all of a sudden the words just fall out of her mouth while she’s staring at the carpet in front of them, “Mama has been even moodier than usually… It all started when she refused to see grandpa this Christmas, without even giving me an explanation why. Then she started griping about me and even insulted me worse than usual… And then yesterday she said that she’d rather spend her day at work than with me, and really left me alone, she even took Gretchen with her”, she starts weeping bitterly, “I was trying so hard not to bother her, not to make her angry, to let her have a god time… Aleksander, I don’t know what to do anymore. No matter what I do, I always end up disappointing her.” 

“Next time”, he puts one hand onto her arm, “call me, come to my home or when I’m at work write down what you would want to tell me. You need to let off steam. Sometimes you just need somebody to pour your heart to. And I’ll always be there to listen to you or to read those letters, I promise.” _How do I even know this?_ He has never comforted anybody before. _Probably no one even wanted to be comforted by me before_. Her sobs get worse again. “Can… can you tell me everything is okay? Please?”

He can’t resist anymore – he has to hug her. He doesn’t even really know how to hug someone, no one has ever really hugged him before, but it seems to be some kind of basic human instinct, something you just know how to do. He gently locks her into his arms, afraid she might squirm away, but she doesn’t. “Everything is okay,” he whispers to her ear. The scent of her shampoo and her sobs that are getting slower and quieter calm him down a bit.

Regina can’t cry anymore. She’s overwhelmed by his warmth and the butterflies in her whole body. His arms are wrapped around her firmly while he is stroking her back with his splayed hand. _Is this really happening? Does he really care for me that much? How long can I stay in his hug before it gets awkward?_

Although he would have loved to hold her in his arms forever, he loosens his grip on her to look into her eyes once more. “You don’t have to deal with your problems all alone. We’re both lonely souls, I offer you to be lonely with me,” he says with a weak smile. The smile he gets in return makes everything worth it.

“Thank you…,” she says looking at the clock, “but Mama will be home soon, I guess you have to leave me alone now.” It makes her sad. She feels everything but lonely by his side. “Not necessarily”, he beams at her while taking a sip from his cup of tea, “Do you want to go for a walk in the snow?”

She nods thankfully -she hasn’t thought of just escaping these four walls- and goes to the kitchen to write her mother a note. “I’m out for a walk with a friend, I will be back before sunset. –R.” she writes down and puts the note clearly visible on the kitchen counter.

* * *

**January 21 st 1987**

The doorbell rings.

Finally. She was supposed to be here half an hour ago already. Aleksander gets up from the mattress he uses as a compensatory couch. Soon he will be able to buy more furniture, the job at the nuclear power plant pays well, but right now he has to improvise to make his small apartment habitable.

Regina is standing outside the door in the stairwell, holding a huge box which is wrapped in blue paper in her hands. Her hair is flowing over her baby blue sweater in loose waves. She looks stunning. “Am I late for the loneliest birthday party in the world?” she wonders with a bright smile on her face. Aleksander laughs, he is relieved. “You are, I’ve started worrying already. But why is that box so big, you didn’t have to bring anyth-“ “Maybe I didn’t have to, but I want to. And it’s not only big, but also heavy as hell, so would you please finally let me in?” she asks in playful annoyance.

While she puts the huge box down by the mattress, her sleeves roll up and reveal her underarms. Scars. Everywhere. But it’s just scars, no new cuts. _She is so unbelievably strong_ , he thinks. He is proud of her, which makes him hug her even tighter than usual. “Happy Birthday, Aleksander,” she muffles to his chest.

_Birthday. “Birthday”. Not my birthday_ , Aleksander thinks. He has never celebrated his own birthday before. He has had a quarrel with his own conscience for days now if it’s okay to celebrate somebody else’s birthday claiming it to be your own. He came to the conclusion that it might be okay. In fact, birthdays aren’t even that special. Nobody did anything special or worth celebrating the day they were born, so technically, if you’re not celebrating the woman that gave birth to you that day, too, it doesn’t even matter when you celebrate your birthday.

A plausible explanation. Still it doesn’t feel right. But Regina seems to be a person that does care about birthdays a lot. She is beaming from deep inside today.

“Come on, open it up!” she urges him after she let herself fall onto the mattress. He sits down beside her and pulls the present closer towards himself. It truly is heavy. “The wrapping paper reminded me of the colour of your eyes,” she isn’t sure if it was clever to say that, but his lips forming a shy smile are telling her that he doesn’t seem to mind whether it was clever or not.

She nervously digs her fingernails into the mattress as he carefully unwraps it. _Will he like it or will he think I’m silly?_ She always feels like words can’t describe her thankfulness, although she wanted to express it so badly. No one has ever cared for her in that way. Just like he promised, he was there for her when she needed him. Unlike other people, he never got angry and yelled at her that she should stop, may it be crying, overthinking or hurting herself. He sat by her, hugged her, listened to her or distracted her. She doesn’t even know if he understands how important he is to her.

“I thought it might be useful, now that you’re able to buy more and more furniture. And now I don’t have to smuggle hammers and screwdrivers and stuff like that out of Mama’s garage anymore and hope that she doesn’t notice. And: what’s a metalworker without his own toolbox?” she stutters in self-defence before he can even say anything.

“Regina, this is so thoughtful!” are the only words he can get out right now. He pulls her closer to hug her again. He doesn’t really have words to tell her how moved he is, so he lets his actions speak.

This time they remain embraced for a long time, Regina is relieved that he likes her present and enjoys to hear that his heart beats just as fast as hers right now. Aleksander deeply inhales the scent of her shampoo which he loves since the day they met and can hardly believe his luck.

“I have never been as happy as when I am with you, Regina. I wouldn’t want to imagine my life without you.” His words make her tear up. No one has ever said anything that kind and heartfelt to her. The tone in his voice is so soft, it’s hard to believe that that’s the same person that threatened Katharina and Ulrich months ago. And then she can feel the warm touch of this lips on her hairline.

_Am I going too far?,_ he asks himself. But she doesn’t give him much time to worry. She looks up to him and says: “I wouldn’t want to imagine my life without you in it, either.” He brushes some strands of her auburn hair out of her face and slowly leans in to gently kiss her lips.

“I like being lonely with you, Aleksander,” Regina's smile gleams as they part again. “I'm glad we share that opinion.”

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing is inspired by 'broken', a song by lovelytheband.
> 
> I felt the urge to fill some voids, especially Aleksander finding out that Regina self-harms.
> 
> And huge thanks to my hypewoman 'violetshour' who unconsciously encouraged me to include the birthday-topic in one of my works.
> 
> Thanks for reading - comments are highly appreciated <3


End file.
